


Quarantined Crisis

by ironhawkofmischief



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fic, Jaskier has a harem of witchers, M/M, Marijuana, Medicinal Drug Use, Poly Relationships, Rumors, lots of ships, more like an armada, no beta we die like witchers, quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23745085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironhawkofmischief/pseuds/ironhawkofmischief
Summary: Jaskier is a history professor just trying to do his job while on quarantine. Of course, all four of his lovers seem to always get in the way while he is in class. This leads to questions and an eventual revealing part of Jaskier's life he thought he would always hide from the world.
Relationships: Coën/Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Lambert
Comments: 40
Kudos: 380
Collections: Jaskier or Geralt/others (with or w/out eachother), Soft Witcher Fics for Bad Days





	Quarantined Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted off of Discord by quallian and I am very happy they let me use their prompt!
> 
> This was written in a few hours with no beta reader so please know all my mistakes are my own. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks to Spook on Discord for talking with me and giving me ideas as well as Angel on tumblr for also encouraging this! You guys are awesome and I appreciate everything you threw at me for maybe even more shenanigans if this goes well.

It started with his first class. When he sat on his and Geralt’s bed and logged into zoom for his first class during the lockdown; thanks to quarantine. Of course, all his students who had had him for a year now, were interested in what lay behind him. Geralt’s style was rather monochrome. The walls a simple dark grey, headboard a black varnished wood, and minimal decorations. Jaskier had added his own flare with the sheets a royal blue with a matching comforter. It was the one splash of color his husband of 15 years allowed him. 

Not like that mattered with the other three men that lived in the same house and were also Jaskier’s lovers. It was a matter of harmony between five grown men. Four of which are: ex military, buff, and highly protective of their squishy lover. It was a funny story on how this had even happened. 

Jaskier had met Geralt first, ripe out of his beginner classes at university. Geralt who just came back from overseas and still in the services. Of course, their relationship was secret because of don't ask don’t tell still being enacted. Jaskier still had needed a roommate and Geralt was gone most of the time anyway… It seemed to work out quite well. Geralt had a place to sleep and be comfortable when he was home, and Jaskier had someone helping pay half his rent which was always a win-win in his book.

Things had progressed from there and by the time don’t ask don’t tell was repealed, they were already engaged. Next, came Eskel. Eskel had been a brother in arms to Geralt. Eskel had been medically discharged due to severe PTSD. Of course, Jaskier was happy to open their small apartment to Geralt’s very best friend. They had found a bigger apartment and everything was great. Jaskier had helped Eskel through many night terrors and something had blossomed. After many discussions, Geralt was fine opening the relationship sexually. 

Coen was next to fall into their laps. Sweet, younger Coen. A back injury had put him out his first tour and was discharged. He quickly went to work with Geralt at his security business. Jaskier being Jaskier: was quick to take the man under his wing and things progressed just as they had with Eskel. The relationship was opened again to include Coen and a schedule had been planned. Jaskier did his rounds and slept with each man separately (unless it was a bad night than he had both Coen and Eskel curled around him). 

When Lambert joined their family: it was an already unspoken rule that Jaskier would take the man under his wing as he did the rest and dote on him as Jaskier did with the other three. Lambert was a military police officer on the local base and had retired honorably from his service. He was the hardest man to crack for Jaskier, but soon those walls were broken down. That was when they found the perfect house on the outskirts of town. Close enough for Jaskier to get to classes, but also far enough not enough loud noises to set off Eskel, or well any of their traumas. 

Their family grew by one rather large and cantankerous main coon named Roach. She was Geralt’s and only tolerated cuddles from anyone else for small amounts. The next animal was Little Bleater; Eskel’s prized goat. He had gotten her when she was a baby and had bottle fed her. The damned goat had lived in the house for a while. Now, she was full grown and seemed to know when Eskel really needed head presses or cuddles. They all joked that was his Emotional Support Animal and yet she really was. It was cute, but Jaskier did not like having a full grown goat wandering into the house at whatever leisure she pleased if they left the door open. Roach also protested, she was there first and why should she have to share the house with this overgrown and ugly cat? 

“Now that you have all ogled my bedroom… We need to discuss today’s topic,” Jaskier said as he clapped his hands to get the 40 odd students to listen to him. The chatter seemed to stop as he smiled a bit. “Did you read chapter four, section three?” He asked as he heard the door and sighed. Geralt stepped in and looked guilty but held out a cup.

“Tea,” was the only thing he said. Everyone could see the shapely arms and stone abs beneath his tank top and lounge pants. There was chatter as Jaskier looked up, eyes brightening at his husband as he gave a small nod,

“Thank you, class love,” Geralt hummed and nodded before he left the room as he turned back, “yes, yes that was Geralt now listen!” He called and sighed, “oh my today is going to be difficult isn’t it?”

~ ~ ~

His second class was held in Eskel’s room. Eskel had had a rough day and Jaskier hated to be away from his lover when he had an attack. The man had gotten high off of two bowls of marijuana before passing out on the bed. Jaskier had tried to angle his camera so it was only himself and the dark red walls. Eskel’s room wasn’t as minimalistic as his brother in arms. His walls are deep red with satin sheets and a comforter to match. The bed was devoid of a headboard and there were pictures scattered across the wall behind him. 

Jaskier knew there was a lump that could be seen of his sleeping lover but he dared not touch and scare Eskel during his class. This class was his Medieval and Early Modern History and was different from his last class which had been Advanced Historical Methods. He had two more classes that consisted of American History 101 and European History. They rotated on a schedule and he had anywhere between 40 and 80 students in each session. Everyone he knew pretty well due to how the school was set up. 

Most students were in their second or third years so knew of Geralt having seen the tall silver haired man on campus getting coffee or lunch with Jaskier. A few times he had even been in his office when students had come for advice or tutoring sessions. So, it wasn’t odd to see him in the background but this totally new bedroom with a random body next to him no matter how he tried to hide it? It made some students question each other on what they knew of Professor Jaskier.  
By the end of the class, the body had rolled out of sight and had shuffled from the room as Jaskier was discussing different inventions that would soon become something modern that they still had today. Of course, Jaskier shut down any and all questions at the end of the lesson asking them to read up before he closed the computer and sighed softly as he rubbed his forehead.

~ ~ ~

Class three was Lambert’s room. Eskel was stoned and laying in bed with the damned goat and Geralt decided it was a good day to rearrange their room. Coen was also cleaning and Lambert’s room was the most quiet. This room was different from the rest. It was set up almost like a Japanese Dojo. There were tatami mats lining the floors, the walls were all neutral in bamboo looking paneling with the rice paper dividers across the room as well. He had a large bonsai tree on a shelf above his simplistic bed in it’s green sheets with mismatched pillows. 

“Profess? Is there.. A reason you are at someone else’s house?” One student asked during European history and Jaskier rubbed his forehead as Lambert stalked behind him as he sat on the floor with the computer on Lambert’s coffee table. “And who was that!?” The man asked as Jaskier looked over his shoulder and looked back; trying to look innocent,

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I am in my own home and this is my study!” He said with a smile, “you probably saw Geralt yeah?”

“That man was tall and had red hair and a red beard!” The student in question stated, “not silver haired with a short and scruffy beard. Professor, we know your husband…”

“Yes, a friend,” Jaskier then cut them off to go on with the lesson, refusing to answer any more questions. Jaskier would have to punish Lambert for getting near the camera. Of course, could he? Jasker was in his bedroom and having taken it over for the day; on his day off no less. It wasn’t his fault that Eskel was stoned with Geralt and Coen deciding today was a good cleaning day!

~ ~ ~

It seemed the students were meeting for online study groups and the rumors started to fly, “secret lovers?”

“Yeah but during quarantine? We are all under stay at home orders!”

“Those are only recommended, not exactly the law right now.”

“But he's been married to Geralt forever! He can’t just be cheating on him could he?”

“Should we tell him? I mean we all know he works as a security officer or something… Do we know his last name? Professor Jaskier didn’t take his last name when they married right?”

“No, Pankratz is what his last name is and we are sure that is not Geralt’s… He seems like such a nice guy, this can’t be healthy!” 

“Yeah our professor is chasing so much dick he is going to get covid and die on us or something!”

“Don’t be crude! What if they are family members?”

“Yeah, family members that lay in bed with him, give him tea, coffee, and food and the looks he gives them? It's the same look he gives Geralt when Geralt brings him something!”

Truly, this was getting out of hand and Jaskier really didn’t know how far it was going to get out of hand with his next class.

~ ~ ~  
Class four he was back in his and Geralt’s room. It had been rearranged and was actually a lot more efficient. Jaskier actually quite liked having the bed closer to the window and how everything was sat up. He sat at Geralt’s computer desk as he logged in for American History 101. “Alright everyone, see? I am in my own room,” he pointed the camera around so everyone could see. One wall had a few swords, guns, and speciality daggers that were Geralt’s babies. Roach also laid spread out on the bed like the queen she was.

He put the camera back and sighed, “I think we were on what happened during the civil war yeah? I know, it's a boring subject but sometimes we have to go over it again!” While Jaskier lectured, Coen had walked into the background and picked up Roach before slinking out of Geralt and Jasker’s room to cuddle the now annoyed cat. Of course, that started an uproar in a group chat nicknamed: Professor Jaskier’s Many Men that had been started to see if anyone could make any connections between them, Jaskier, and Geralt.

Of course, the only things they noticed were they were all buff, looked a little older, and were covered in scars. Jaskier had mentioned Geralt being honorably discharged from the army at one point. The biggest theory was maybe they were military friends (that wasn’t totally far from the truth) and another was Jaskier was a cock slut and sleeping with as many men as he could in between classes. 

Another was maybe Jaskier had a harem of men (that was another not far from truth theory) or that he was secretly dating them all. Still, how would some new random man show up in his and Geralt’s room!? Maybe Geralt was at work? Would Jaskier really do that? Of course, everyone assumed Jaskier and Geralt had some small one bedroom apartment and not the five bedroom four bathroom house on an acre of land with a large back yard and a three car garage attached, with a basement that was used as Geralt’s personal gym room. It was always an assumption they had stayed small. Jaskier of course, never talked too heavily on his private life and this was more they really saw of it than any other time. Even his co-workers didn’t know about Eskel, Coen, and Lambert.

~ ~ ~

With the four men playing on the switch loudly as they tried to beat each other at Mario kart, he had decided the best place for his class today would be the gym. It was a lot quieter in the basement and the noise didn’t travel as it had in the different bedrooms. He had sat up a small table with a chair and his laptop next to an outlet. He turned it on and smiled as everyone logged in, “good morning! I am in our personal gym it is a little loud upstairs,” he said as he chuckled. 

There were chatters as everyone tried to look behind him. Soon there was a lot of noise as questions were thrown about. “Hey! Hey class!” Jaskier tried as 45 students shot questions. It was a bit overwhelming as he rubbed his temples, “Silence!” He finally shouted and that seemed to over take his lover’s so he hoped it worked for the class. Everyone calmed down and he frowned, “alright someone, and only one person try to explain to me all the questions and what the hell is going on? I can not teach class if you are all talking over one another!” He huffed softly, “I am emotionally exhausted from being locked in my damned house for this long! What the fuck is going on? Hmm?” Finally, after everything calmed one student cleared his throat,

“Well, we are worried about you Professor. We..We see you in different bedrooms and have seen at least four different men besides Geralt and well, we are worried you are putting yourself in danger. Not just from the virus but maybe your marriage? You are going to different men’s houses and seem to have a rather intimate relationship with each man! We just are worried. Some think you have a harem or that you are just that cooped up and… One person called you a cock slut,” he flushed as Jaskier started to see red,

“Hmm yes a harem and a cock slut. Maybe I am but you know what, fuck this. Lets see what I am doing while I am hiding!” He yelled as he jumped up and pulled his lap top from the charger and turned it around as he started up the stairs, “do you want to see what I see every single day in my home? Why I hide away in different rooms every single class? Hmm?” He opened the door and walked through the tidy little kitchen before he stepped into the large family room. There sat all four men, in all states of undress, and screaming at the large 70 inch screen TV as Eskel kicked their asses at Mario Kart. 

“Everyone! Pause the game!” He hollered and the game was paused as eight sets of eyes all turned wide eyed at the screen. “Say hello to my class,” he said softly, “they think I am cheating on Geralt with each one of you. Should I explain? You know what don’t answer because I will.” He turned the laptop towards himself.

“The red haired man is Lambert. Bald with dark beard? That is Coen. Eskel has the brown hair and pretty green eyes with the scars across his face. You all of course know my silver haired husband, Geralt.” He grunted, “they are all my lovers. I am married to Geralt and he is my priority but I love every single one of those men in my own way. I never mentioned or told anyone because I didn’t find it pertinent in telling my classes my personal life. You all knew I was married and that was as far as I wanted it to go. Not everyone is open and accepting of this relationship and I could possibly be fired but you got what you want; since some of you can’t keep your damned noses to yourself!”

Jaskier was rather pissed as he frowned at the screen. “I am cancelling classes for the day. I want all of you to message one another and tomorrow at 9 am I will be doing a Q and A for every single one of you so you all fully understand. Got it?” When he got the confirmations he logged out and shut down the laptop before sitting it on the desk. Jaskier felt himself curl within his own body as he felt a warm presence.

The scent of clove and sandalwood only meant it was Geralt. Strong arms enveloped him, “you did the right thing. I am sorry we caused you problems. We tried to stay out of your way,” Geralt said as he kissed his ear. Next came Eskel who put his arms around Jaskier as well. Jaskier just hiccupped as he laughed and sobbed at the same time,

“We all love you no matter what,” Eskel confirmed as the other two soon came in and Jaskier was swimming in four buff men’s arms. This, this was his home.


End file.
